Forecast: Its a doozi

Jen bought me this nail polish to wear for my Civ Pro test. Its called, Its a Doozi says Suzi. The test will be a doozi, so I have been MIA studying for it.

Also, I am afraid its a no go on the pregnancy, we got a negative on the pregnancy test.

I will be updating again soon. Just one more week of hell.

Torts Invading My Life

Jen and Lil’ guy spent yesterday at the zoo while I was wasting away at the library.

When I saw Jen last night she said, “You’ll never guess what happened to me today. I slipped on a banana peel.”

An actual slip on a banana peel case! I was so excited I could barely contain myself, “How far did you fall? Were you on zoo property?” Unfortunately, she isn’t sure if she was on zoo property (Virgin commented that the case would be really great if the Gorilla had thrown the banana at her, and then she slipped). Also she didn’t really get hurt, so her case is not so good.

And where was I? I was at the library…studying Torts. Actually, I can’t believe the day I had. I spent 9 hours at the public library. I go to the public library because I can’t get on the internet there, so I am really productive. And then I came home and went over problems with Virgin for about 4 hours. I’m all over this Torts thing.

Super quick TTC update

I am feeling slightly panicked about Finals. But, yesterday, Jen’s follicles measured at 20, she took a trigger shot, and will be going in for insem number #2 tomorrow at 11:00. Wish us luck!

So you speak Farsi, I own Red Carpet Barbie

A guy in my section came up with a game for Finals. He wants everyone to email him a fun fact about themselves, and then he will compile a list of the facts, and we have to guess who is who.

First, it annoys me that anyone has the time to even contemplate doing this. But that’s old news. At this point in the semester, I resent that Jen is able to go to bed at 10:30. Other than that, this is an Human Resources game, and Human Resources games categorically annoy me.

When I thought about what I might write for my fun fact, I realized I am just a townie from Sunnyslope, AZ. While I’m sure my classmates will write about how they are in a punk bank, lived in exotic places or speak 10 languages, the accomplishment I am most proud of is quitting drinking. I don’t think I want to share that with my future colleagues. If I make through law school with a baby on my hip, that will be big accomplishment number 2.

I was one of the very first same sex couples to get legally married in the country, but even being gay is getting a little pedestrian.

So I thought about making something up. I think I am going to write that I own thousands of Barbie dolls that I categorize by hair color and date of issue. What do you think?

What to do with that placenta

As most of you know, my wife is a nurse. It’s a pretty crazy job. Whenever I ask her about it, I get freaky details from her day, so I usually don’t ask. But tonight she volunteered this story.

A kid was admitted into Jen’s ward. The kid’s mom and dad were there. Mom is 9 months pregnant. She goes into labor so they race her over to the maternity ward. She had given birth at home the other two times and wanted to get back to her sick child in Jen’s ward, so they let her out right after she gave birth.

This is where Jen comes in. So mom is there with new baby, sick kid and dad. Then dad comes up to Jen and asks where he can freeze the placenta. Jen’s thinks he is holding a Styrofoam cup of yogurt, but then realizes that he is actually holding mom’s placenta.

Jen calmly responds “It’s a blood product. We can’t store it.”

Dad then says, “Oh what. If it was cow’s blood you’d refrigerate it.”

Jen says, “I’m sorry sir. We can’t”

Dad, “A placenta is the only meat product you can eat that doesn’t involve killing.”

“No.”

Stories like this make me wish I had gone to nursing school.

Lions Roar and little boys jump in puddles

I really love this new phase we are in with my son. I love the fact that I can talk to him and he can tell me what is on his mind. The other day, Jen and lil’ guy went to the zoo. When I saw him that night, he kept saying, “Lion ROAR Lion ROAR”. I could see that he was impressed.

I decided to take him to the zoo today, only thing is, its been raining for a few days now. And its cold. We get there, and half of the exhibits are closed. He asks for the lion, but then as we make our way through the zoo, we pass by a few puddles. He runs over to them to jump. I stop him. We’re in public, and it’s freezing. I drag him to the lions, but there are so many kids we can’t get close. So I decide to try the playground. That goes pretty well, but he wants me to go down the slide with him. So I drag myself up to the top of the slide, and then on the way down, hit a big pool of water. I am soaking wet. Now I’m cranky.

He asks to see the lion again, so we make our way over there again. But we pass by a whole row of big, fat juicy puddles. They call his name. He sneaks up to them and looks at me. I think, whatever, screw the lions.

“Go ahead,” I tell him.

He gets sopping wet and full of mud. I get quite a few looks from the other parents. But I think, we’ll just go home. So we leave the zoo entrance (but he had to chase a couple of peacocks first). I think, I will put him in the car, crank up the heat and take off his pants, get home soon.

But just as we are leaving, I notice the runners. As in hundreds of runners that are running through the zoo parking lot. They were having a 5k that was routed through the parking lot of the zoo. They weren’t just running through either. This part of the parking lot is just a narrow two lane stretch. They ran up on side, banged a U, and then ran down the other side. We were sopping wet, cold and stuck.  I was so annoyed. By the time the slow pokes ran by, I was giving them dirty looks and thinking, “Would you move your butt so I can get my wet baby home?” Lil’ guy and me will probably get sick, just in time for finals. Which is really just perfect considering how this semester has gone.

I am going to take him to the toy store now. We need some new toys around here.

The end is near

I am friends at school with a cute girl from the South. She is not in my section, but her locker is near mine, and sometimes we ride the T home together.

The other night she was telling me that she wasn’t going home. She had to go panty shopping (imagine someone with a cute Southern accent saying this.)

Why? I asked. Are you trying to avoid laundry?

No. No. All her laundry was done, she assured me, it was just…someone might see them.

Gentle reader, once upon a time, I would have known new panties meant a new love. Now I think you are trying to get out of your housework.

At any rate, its nearing finals, and blogging will probably be light for the next few weeks. Leaseholds and fee simple estates are hurling towards me at an alarming velocity. I have real covenants to explore and the Erie doctrine to digest. I must get over my moral objection to the Hand formula and learn to apply it.

To those taking finals..good luck. And Good luck to those who are TTC.
I will check in as often as I can. After my finals, my family is going to P-town for a week. And then my super three day a week intern starts. I can’t wait.

You were made for something bitter, bitter, better

One of the things that has always aggravated me about my chaotic family it that it is so hard to get to the factual truths of things. Misstatements of fact abound. One moment we are of pure of Irish stock, the next moment our great grandmother was a Dutch factory worker, and then later we have Native American blood in us. I take everything that is said with a grain of salt.

I have recently reconnected with a cousin who is going through a hard time. He filed a lawsuit recently and it was emotionally difficult for him. He was telling me that he had thought about asking my brother, J, to look over his claim for him.

Why? I asked. J doesn’t know anything about the law?

Isn’t he a lawyer? He responded. His mother had been going on and on about how J had turned his life around and was an attorney in Denver.

I lost my sh*t at this.

Background. I have some real issues with my brother. He has always been the golden boy of the family. He is very handsome and very popular. The phone rang incessantly at our house growing up. The rest of us stopped answering it.

The Women’s Movement did not reach our house. My brother was given a car at sixteen, and his college education was paid for. The rest of us schlepped around on the Phoenix Public Transit and took out student loans.

But this is the thing, J is very abusive to us. He charms the pants of others, but he is mean and cruel to us. He cannot talk to us with out sharpening a verbal knife and plunging it in. He is like Jekyll and Hyde. And despite my parents giving him preferential treatment, it took nearly 7 years to graduate college. He has spent most of his adult life as a bartender.

Do I sound bitter? Yes love. I am.

So when I heard my aunt had been raving about J’s law career. I lost it.

He is not a lawyer. He is schmaltzy sales guy. He is lucky he graduated college. He has NOT cleaned his act up.

All right. All right. My cousin laughed. My mom had some bad info.

I think what happened was news of me going to law school percolated into news of J being a hot shot lawyer. Its just so infuriating that even my accomplishments get attributed to him.

For the 100th time this semester

The baby and I are sick. But this time, instead of bravely soldering on, I’m saying scr*w it. I have a Motion for Summary Judgment due at the end of the week.

We’re watching Curious George.

When I am not contemplating easements…

Every now and then, I sign out of g-chat. This is usually a lame attempt to pay attention in Property class. The result of this is that me and the Girl Who Sits Next to Me, Virgin, just start writing old-fashioned handwritten notes.

I pulled out my contracts syllabus. On there was a brief exchange between me and the Virgin:

Me: The thing is, so many places say,

I want a lesbian or

I want a woman

Its not really enforced

Virgin: Yes, like so many other things. Why are we spinning our wheels?

Congress is STUPID

What in God’s good green earth were we talking about?