Waiting for Zoloft

The antidepressants are supposed to kick in this week. Needless to say, I’m looking forward to it. I was supposed to meet a friend for lunch but she stood me up. When I talked to her she sincerely apologized. She told me she’s been depressed and her mind is scattered. I couldn’t fault her for it. She got walloped going through menopause. I got walloped just being me.

My social worker says that my brain should be able to focus more once the depression lifts. I have been really paranoid that I am about to lose my job. As much as I hate it, I don’t want to get fired. We need the money and it would be really a bummer if I’m fired from my first attorney position. When I go to work I get these crazy thoughts like everyone is looking at me funny. I think people are shutting their doors to talk about how lousy I am at my job.

The thing is it wouldn’t be completely unjust if I lose my job because I can’t get myself to focus on my work. My job is dead boring and I troll the internet looking for fights. If they ever decide to check my internet use I might be a goner. So what I’m hoping is the drugs will kick in and I will be more productive. (My behavior isn’t out of the ordinary at the Agency but everyone else is union but me).

In other news I finally got a pro bono case through a bar association. I met my client last night. I am really happy to be able to help someone else and it makes me feel like a real lawyer.


2 thoughts on “Waiting for Zoloft

  1. I came across your blog through a link on Butterflyfish – I’ve just started to peruse, and I can tell I’ll be reading on a frequent basis!
    I wanted to comment, because I too went through a “waiting for zoloft” phase. I had a severe bout of postpartum depression, and the wait seemed like FOREVER when everyday felt like torture. After about two weeks, I started to feel a little bit better, and after six weeks, I felt like (almost) normal again. I also took Trazadone as a sleep aid, which works really well (not sure if that is what you got also). Anyway, hang in there!

  2. Hello! Loved reading various posts on your blog—just discovered it today.

    I’m actually a theatre producer/director, putting up a production: BOSTONblogologues in March 2012. If you have any interest of your blog being a part of it and would like more information please let me know. You can email me at:

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