I went to thesaurus.com looking for a less depressing word for Despair, and then settled on Despair

Despite being thrown a bone, I am feeling some despair tonight. I get depressed every Sunday night thinking about having to go back into work on Monday.

I honestly don’t know if I can get hired for a real job as an attorney. God knows, I’ve tried. I don’t know how many people have cooed at my credentials: impressive schools, impressive grades. But I have yet to hear those magic words, “when can you start?”

I definitely would give up, but I really want to be a lawyer. I just need someone to give me a chance. Plus, I think I just can’t get over the idea that I spent $150,000 on a degree that is not worth the paper it is printed on.

I told Jen that I can’t go on like this. Week after week hoping that someone calls me for an interview, looking for more places to send resumes to, just waiting for the phone to ring. If I can’t get a job by Christmas, I will give up. We will sell this condo and move to a cheaper area of the state. We don’t want to move but I just can’t  do this indefinitely. I will be a SAHM who occasionally provides pro bono legal services.

I know. Bad economy. Old story. But tonight, it’s my story.

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8 thoughts on “I went to thesaurus.com looking for a less depressing word for Despair, and then settled on Despair

  1. I know, it sucks. It won’t forever, and it’s good to be realistic, but you will find something you like. It’s just an awful waiting game. Also, please move to Oregon, so we can hang out with you and Jen. I have Bostonian-transplant friends who will vouch for how wonderful it is here. 🙂

  2. Oh EH – we could move to Oregon and boycott Powells together! We could walk past every day just so that we don’t go in. And then get coffee and manicures. It’s a plan.

  3. By Christmas you’ll be looking back at this post a see how much things have changed for the better.

    In my experience when we’re in the depth of despair things start looking up. Even if that means changing plans a bit, don’t give up on your dream.

    I am by no means a religious person but I do believe it God and have read the bible a few times, (ok, ok I used to be a Catholic catechist, but that’s not the point) and I was watching some youtube vids and stumbling on one that spoke to me. Basically the youtuber was referring to a story in the bible and telling everyone not to give up, God had not forgotten about them.

    I won’t be able to explain it well enough here’s the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDnWuuskeW0

  4. “By Christmas you’ll be looking back at this post a see how much things have changed for the better.”

    Concur.

  5. I totally feel your pain. I swear, if they’ll change the bankruptcy laws so that I can discharge my student loans, they can have my law degree and my license. I’m just tired.

    I haven’t been looking very hard for a job lately, mostly because I sorta gave up and resigned myself to solo practice, even though it isn’t what I want my career to be. But I don’t want to go work for some group of slave-driving douchebags either. So, I guess I can’t complain too much about not having gotten a new job, since I haven’t mass-mailed my resume to every law firm in the state, but what’s the point? No one’s hiring.

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