I need to drop the stroller issue. I had the startling realization that I was beginning to enjoy being angry. It just can’t be good for me.
But I do have more things to say about the wider context of this debate. I think the statement that sent me over the edge was the constant refrain, “You chose to have child, and so don’t you inconvenience me.”
In a world where information about women’s reproductive choices are intentionally muddled for political and religious reasons; where abortion access is constantly under attack; where health care is not easily accessible; and where the choice to have a child is loaded by society’s expectations, I think that is an incredible statement to make. I am taken aback by it. And do I need to point out that women don’t always choose to have sex?
I consider myself at one extreme. In my thirties, my wife and I made a fully cognizant decision to have children. But the statement brings me back to my high school. I have an Irish Catholic background. By my senior year, almost all of my friends were pregnant or already had babies. Yes, strictly speaking they chose to have them. But I assume they had as much information about their bodies that I had. And I also assume that they were told that abortion was murder, like I was told.
Thinking about my background brings up another point. On universal hub, a HUGE feminist called me out on not talking about the cut backs for WIC. I just want to say, you have no fucking idea how much I care. You don’t know where I come from. My background includes homeless shelters and no food in the refrigerator. My mother had five kids, and a husband she had to run away from. I care about poverty because I have lived it.
Now I am getting angry again – at an anonymous comment!
I have been incredibly lucky as an adult. The people who have come into life, the educational opportunities I been given, and a beautiful family. This is blog is sort of a serenade of gratitude. I’m proud… and happy.
So Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there. Whether you are like me and completely chose motherhood, or if you became a parent without having a real choice. I appreciate the work that you do.
PS – I will leave this public for now. It is pretty personal though. I might decide to password protect it. My siblings have gotten upset when I have blogged about our life. Oh, I don’t know. I am all frazzled. If I do password protect – same password as always