Brushing myself off and starting all over again

I didn’t get the permanent position for the state job. I am really taking it hard which is surprising because

a) I didn’t think I was going to get it and

b) I don’t even want it.

I left work as soon as I found out. I called Farrah and told her what had happened, and that I needed a couple of days off. She was surprisingly sweet about it.

Truth be told, loves, my nerves are frayed. I couldn’t sleep last night. I just feel humiliated. I can’t believe I am going to have to go and face my coworkers who decided that someone else who doesn’t work here can do a better job than I can. And you are not allowed to express anger or resentment at work. So I have to shake this off in the next 36 hours so I can act professional.

I did have the other interview that I blogged about. So I am not exactly back at square one. It was an awkward interview though. It is a defense position working with indigent clients. At one point, this very distinguished looking interviewer expressed concern that I didn’t have more experience working with the population that they service. I almost blurted out, “But Lady, I am totally RELATED to your population!” One little law degree and my white trash roots are all touched up.

Obviously, I needed to regroup. So here is how I spent my day off:

  1. Went for a jog for the first time all winter
  2. Continued applying for jobs via my 30 resumes and 30 day challenge
  3. Joined the Women’s Bar Association
  4. And watched the Fighter. It was totally inspiring and made me feel like I could get it together, and “Do IT for Lowell!”

7 thoughts on “Brushing myself off and starting all over again

  1. Seems like a pretty natural response. No one likes rejection, even if it’s by someone/some entity that is completely repulsive. They seriously have done you a favor though, I’m certain of it. Enjoy your time off!

  2. That feeling of rejection is horrible, a punch in the gut. I respect you so much for having tried, though—I think it’s better to try and get rejected than to avoid that feeling by not trying at all. The 30 resumes project is great for this. I hope you do something really nice for yourself during those 36 hours, you deserve it!

  3. *Big hug* But seriously, two things: (1) This “rejection” has nothing to do with you, it has to do with nepotism. (2) This is not the job for you! I know its hard to see now, but something much better is coming down the pike for you.

    The Fighter was super fantastic. I liked it so much I finally put Million Dollar Baby on my Netflix list. Yeah, I had NO idea that the latter had a totally different ending. Killed me.

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