Overheard at the tattoo parlor

Tattoo artist #1: So this guy comes in and I asked him what he wants, and he says, “I want a big penis.” He wants me to tattoo shadows on his dick to make it look bigger. And I was like, “Dude, if I touch your dick, that makes me a sex worker and it’s going to cost you. $3,000.”

Tattoo artist #2: “You’re already a sex worker.”

Me: Freaking out in the corner at the thought of tattooing a penis, though I do not, in fact, have a penis. I was also thinking that $3,000 would make you a pretty well paid sex worker.

My tattoo is halfway done. Yes, I went and got a tattoo while my wife was 9 months pregnant and miserable waiting for the baby. My tattoo artist said that made me a typical husband. I will post a pic as soon as possible. Of both the baby and the tattoo.

We are trying some herbs tonight to try and kick start labor. We’ll see how it goes.


12 thoughts on “Overheard at the tattoo parlor

  1. Hi atypical,

    People have mentioned castor oil before. I don’t think she is down with it. And every natural method we have tried so far hasn’t produced any results. I think we are going to have to wait a week until the doctor tells us it’s time to use Western medicine and induce.

  2. if it’s small enough to need “enhanced shadows,” who the heck is looking at it in the light? there’s a reason s*x happens in the bedroom, with the lights out, under the covers… oh dear, i am a prude…. anyhooo, looking forward to pics, as i’m considering a tattoo, but still scared of kids…

  3. That’s exactly the one Adele.

    Just Jenn – I will post pictures. It’s kind of hard that I broke this up. I needed a break, but now I know how much it hurts and I am dreading going back. But I can’t have a half done tattoo.

  4. Hi Rayne, I have trying to get her to eat something spicy. The problem is that she is a true New Englander. Her idea of spicy it totally different from what I think is spicy. I’m from Arizona. She thinks she is eating spicy things. I think she is eating stuff that is mildly flavored.

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