Tattoo artist #1: So this guy comes in and I asked him what he wants, and he says, “I want a big penis.” He wants me to tattoo shadows on his dick to make it look bigger. And I was like, “Dude, if I touch your dick, that makes me a sex worker and it’s going to cost you. $3,000.”
Tattoo artist #2: “You’re already a sex worker.”
Me: Freaking out in the corner at the thought of tattooing a penis, though I do not, in fact, have a penis. I was also thinking that $3,000 would make you a pretty well paid sex worker.
My tattoo is halfway done. Yes, I went and got a tattoo while my wife was 9 months pregnant and miserable waiting for the baby. My tattoo artist said that made me a typical husband. I will post a pic as soon as possible. Of both the baby and the tattoo.
We are trying some herbs tonight to try and kick start labor. We’ll see how it goes.