Oh Justice,

Last week, I was nervously preparing for what I believed would be my first trial. The defendant was representing himself, and on the file there was a note: “Defendant wants a trial.” Oh boy, did he ever.

Jessica Gottlieb recommended glitter in the cleavage, Virgin said I should ice my nipples. I almost broke out my tiara. I even stayed up late last night working on my cross-examination.

This morning, I get into court, and there is Mr Pro Se sitting right up front, with his little notes in his lap. But of course, my victim was nowhere to be found. And neither was the police officer. I ran downstairs to try and get her on the phone, but only got voice mail.

When the case was called, I explained the situation to the judge. She turned to Mr Pro Se and said, “If there is no objection, I will dismiss this case. The Commonwealth is not ready.”

And then he objected! He argued with the judge a bit. But he said he wanted his day in court and he wanted to confront his accuser. In fact, he said he thought the judge should order the victim into court. The judge explained she would do no such thing. He then told her he wanted her to dismiss the case over his objection. Again, she declined. The defense attorneys in the court room were nearly jumping out of their seats.

Finally, the judge said, “I’m just going to set another date. We will see you next month.” He then protested he would have to come back! But the judge was done with him.

He then came over to me and scolded me for prosecuting the case! He said, “Is this really how you want to spend your time.” And I said, “Dude! No! I tried to have it dismissed. This is all YOU.” And then he stomped off.

So next month, I get to do it all over again.


9 thoughts on “Oh Justice,

  1. Ha, I love pro se’s. He even managed to bungle a dismissal.
    I hope for both of your sakes that next time he shows up with a lawyer. Although I will feel sorry for the defense attorney he hires/gets appointed.

  2. Hi! I began reading your blog because I found the tag line “Mommy on the floor: I’m not drunk, I’m exhausted” hilarious and I can totally relate. It took me a few posts to realize that you are a lesbian in a same-sex marriage. I’m straight and to be honest I had never given same-sex marriage much thought. I don’t have any gay friends, so the whole issue seemed distant to me.
    I can sincerely tell you that your blog has opened my eyes to many things. Thank you for sharing part of your life because you are also in your own way educating people like myself.
    Now more than ever I hope that equality comes for all of us, because as humans we all deserve the same.

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