Jen, this is just pretend, my heart belongs to you

Virgin harassed me into doing this. I think she just wants to distract me from Crim Pro. 

Disclaimer. I am not going to sleep with anyone other than my wife. But if I was single, and I could sleep with anyone in the world, here are the top 5 men and women I would sleep with. 

Men (this list isn’t very imaginative, I had a hard time and was tempted to write bs answers like Dick Cheney)

  • Brad Pitt 
  • Charlie Sheen
  • Tom Brady
  • James Gandolfi
  • Obama (but only so I could later blackmail him into repealing DADT and DOMA)

This was kind of interesting to me. I know I have thought to myself, “He’s really cute.” But when pushed came to shove, I had a hard time coming up with names. Oh well. Onto the girls. The girls I kept taking names on and off because I couldn’t decide the top five.


  • Rachel Maddow
  • Lindsay Lohan
  • Penelope Cruz
  • Angelina Jolie
  • Margaret Cho

Update: You play too. Either put your answers in a blog post or in the comments.


15 thoughts on “Jen, this is just pretend, my heart belongs to you

  1. Ok, I think you need to disclose to your people that you didn’t just have a hard time finding men. You were actually on Perez searching for guys. And Lindsay Lohan, is that even legal? Not only is she barely old enough but she’s rarely conscious enough to consent. I don’t want to hear any more shit on my Diane Lane pick. That’s totally less gross than your Lohan fantasy.

  2. I do not in the least feel threatened by your male picks, but if Angie or Linds caught your eye, hey, I can totally understand that. I love you and your blog

  3. Sleep is much more seductive to me than “sleeping with”…how sad is that?! Anyway, googiebaba, I bestowed an award to you on my blog today. Cheers and enjoy.

  4. Oh, I will definitely do this one, but on my blog. Ew to Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan. You’d look like that character from Peanuts with things swarming around you/coming off you after an encounter with one of them…

  5. Dude – Lindsey Lohan? For real? *shudder*

    Here’s mine:

    Brad Pitt (’nuff said)
    Obama (brains are HAWT)
    David Beckham (OMG have you SEEN the Armani ads?!)
    Daniel Craig (I actually don’t find him that attractive with the exception of his smoldering eyes. Hawt.)
    Jon Stewart (except that I hear he’s short … I don’t like short men.)

    ANGELINA JOLIE (I’d put her down for every woman entry if possible – MAJORLY hawt)
    Megan Fox (Geez – do I have a “type?!”)
    Salma Hyak (I guess I really DO have a type)
    Catherine Zeta-Jones (again – apparently my type)
    Madonna (Because I just KNOW she’d be fantastic in bed even though when it was over, she’d throw you out of bed and be like ‘fetch me some champagne, slave.’)

  6. Mine. I’d blog it, but it would give hubby more fodder for his “BFF is secretly bi-sexual” argument. Meh, maybe I am, but I’ve never acted on it. The chick list was way easier.

    Brad Pitt (never dug him til recently either… I think he’s wearing the daddy thing well, and he’s done some good comedic roles)
    Younger Sean Connery
    David Boreanez (I’m a geek! Buffy/Angel and now Bones)
    Pierce Brosnan
    Matt Damon (sometimes? kind of a desperation pick really)

    Women: all of these women could kick the asses of most of the guys above.
    ANGELINA JOLIE (Yeah, going with Tranny on this one…I’d put her down for every woman entry if possible, and half the guys)
    Eliza Dushku (Buffy/Angel/Dollhouse–HOT!)
    Catherine Zeta-Jones
    Summer Glau (Sarah Conner Cronicles)
    Gillian Anderson (X-Files)

    Yeah, my chick list looks like that of a 14 year old male sci fi geek — they put these hot chicks in these shows for a reason dammit!!

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