Johnny I hardly Knew Ye (or why I hate St. Patrick’s Day)

Virgin’s facebook status today reads, “Pinch me and die, Boston.”

She doesn’t have to worry about me. I wore navy blue today. I was raised Irish Catholic, but I have always found the romanticism around Ireland pretty annoying. So today, I wondered…why? Why are the clover leaves and the green and the bag pipes so grating? I’m sure Ireland is a very nice country. I have met my fair share of cute Irish girls.

It’s not the love of Ireland that is annoying, as much as the things that are associated with being Irish. These are things that I don’t think should be glamorized.

Such as…

1.     Terrorism. Ask any Irish immigrant what they think of the IRA, and you will hear about the pain this group has inflicted on the very people they are trying to liberate. But Bostonians act like they are some sort of new day Robin Hood. The IRA is as ruthless as Al Qaeda in slaughtering innocent people for political gains. Can we stop acting like they are anything more than the violent criminals that they are?

2.     Alcoholism. It’s not just the ubiquitous posters for Guinness. It’s not just the drinking songs. It is the dismissive way we excuse ol uncle Ed from Cork for his obnoxious behavior. Alcoholism is a mental disorder. If you have it, you will probably die from it. That is, after many years of horrific suffering first. Or maybe you will get lucky and die in a car crash when you are young. Either way, it’s not good. Red hair and a cute brogue doesn’t change that. 

3.     Catholicism (more controversial). The Catholic Church is a very emotional religion, and I am not immune to its charms. The last time I was in a Catholic Church was for a funeral. The liturgy was so beautiful that I cried.  It took me back to my childhood. Mass was Sunday mornings, signing hymns under the light of a stain glass window of Our Lady of Guadalupe. But let’s get real. If the Catholic Church had its way, women would be enslaved to their reproductive functions, pumping baby after unwanted baby into this already overpopulated world. Octomom should be declared a saint, she is so in line with their agenda.

So go out and drink so much you piss green beer. I’m going to my A.A. meeting, and then I am contemplating my love for the Reformation. 


6 thoughts on “Johnny I hardly Knew Ye (or why I hate St. Patrick’s Day)

  1. I’m slow. I didn’t understand what Virgin’s status update was about until I saw this post.

    I got caught in the crowds headed to the parade on Sunday. (Would never have agreed to go downtown if I’d realized there was a parade.) It prompted me to write a cantankerous post about green beer.

  2. i hate this holiday too! the ONE time I went out for st pattys day- all it ivolved was getting sloshed in a bar surrounded by college students looking for some action (surrounded by clovers and green beads of course) it’s become just another excuse for people to act like idiots- I’m not againt drinking and having a good time but why do we need to mask our desire to gorge on alcohol in a “holiday” it seems lame! and i hate wearing green- it looks ugly on me!

  3. Thats cause you are ugly!

    That’s the best you can do? My great aunt Hilda had better insults than this. Virgin comes up with better insults while’s she sleeping in Crim Pro.

    Don’t come back until you have something more bulletproof. k?

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