Strange Developments

You can take the girl out of the meth capital of Arizona, but it looks like some of that sand may have gotten into my DNA.

I want you to understand that I was raised in the desert. Wearing shit kickers and riding in the back of my grandfather’s pick up truck. I had a mean ass drunk for a dad, and a mother who loved Jesus. I had killer tan lines and scabby knees.

But I said good-bye to all of that and spent the next 15 years remarketing myself as an Easterner. I was received into the Episcopal Church, married a girl and adopted a really expensive dog. It pains me to correct people when they assume I grew up in Boston.

Then my son came along. The other day, I was flipping through the radio stations in my new SUV, when he told me to stop. He liked that song. It was Brook and Dunn’s Cowgirls Don’t Cry. It’s about a cow girl who falls off her horse.

He asks for it all of the time in his cute little voice. I had to download it onto my ipod. And we’ve gone all out. I’ve downloaded Shania, Trisha Yarwood and Toby Keith.

I briefed Jen about the situation. I knew my little Presbyterian would not be pleased. After a day of giving into our sons demands to listen to Carrie Underwood, she said, It takes some getting use to. In Wasp, I think that roughly translates to I am ready to ply my eyes out with a f*cking spoon.

Is this genetic? No matter. Little one, when you’re 16, mommy’s going to buy you a red pick up truck. 


10 thoughts on “Strange Developments

  1. Jen, dear – I feel ya. My husband is polluting our son’s mind. Well, I used to think it was polluting, but after 5 (happy?) years of marriage . . . and of listening to the Outlaw Country station on Sirius radio . . . I’m sort of wearing down. I’m not saying I would *select* that station on my own, but it no longer makes me want to cry out in anguish.

    Get that boy some Willie Nelson, STAT.

  2. I just laughed out loud at this, and now the other people in my Evidence classroom are giving me funny looks. (Class hasn’t started yet.)

    My freshman year college roommate liked country. She had her radio tuned to the country station. I wouldn’t have minded quite so much if she hadn’t tried to sing along.

  3. What about moving him slowly over to pop country-ish stuff, like Taylor Swift? And from there, to pop non-country-whatsoever? Assuming you’re interested in weening him in a particular direction.
    I say this because the opposite is happening at our house. From 100% non-country to Taylor Swift, which to ME is way more countrified than I’m comfortable with. The fact that she has a song with Tim McGraw’s name in the title kind of shocked me. I was like, omg, we’re listening to some sort of country, aren’t we? Weeks have gone by and now I have to suppress the urge to sample Tim McGraw songs on iTunes…I mean, what if I liked what I heard? And actually bought one? You see how it progresses?

  4. Shit kickers. You forgot that you need to buy him shit kickers, along with the red pickup truck. 🙂

    That’s OK. I hate NASCAR. And both of my sons love “Cars.” And I just know, one day, one of them will walk in wearing a NASCAR uniform, spitting tobacco juice, hollerin’ (yes, hollerin’) “HEY! MAMA! Lookit! I’m drivin’ the Coors Light car! Woo hoo!”

    Holy crap.

    Glad to meet another coal miner’s granddaughter! There are more of us than people think. 🙂

  5. I grew up on Garth Brooks- my first tape was his greatest hits. I am born and bred a country singer and no matter how much pop/R&B/rock dominates my tastes and preferences, there is a little part of me that will love country music until I die. I don’t admit this very often….

    Your son may outgrow country, but I bet he will always have a soft spot for it!

  6. Heh … I was born and raised Presbyterian. And I’m certain I’d gouge out my eyes with a spoon upon hearing that song. Though I think that’s unrelated to the Presbyterian thing. I have realized I harbor a lot of hostility towards lots of music, these days … especially Josh Grobin. My mom LOVES him and she plays him constantly and he really makes my skin crawl. *shudder*

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