As when, my flesh is torn violently from my body

I was reading a dissenting opinion in an Administrative Law case. In it, Scalia uses the word avulsion. I didn’t know what it meant, so I got out my Websters.

Avulsion: n. The forcible tearing away of a body part by trauma or surgery.

flyingmonkeyIt’s a good word, Scalia. Because studying Administrative Law feels like my flesh is being torn away from my bones by a violent trauma. Only then, a thousand rabid kittens descend upon my trashed flesh and nibble away at its remains. And once they are done, those flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz descend and scatter what is left all over the law library.

That is what reading these cases feels like. (For those of you who were smart enough not to go to law school, Administrative Law is the study of the bureaucracy of the government.)

To make matters worse, my professor assigns about 60 pages of reading a night. My son doesn’t go to bed until 8:00, so I don’t start reading until about 8:30. The long and the short of it, I am up very late reading this sh*t.

Jen came home from work the other night, and found me reading Chevron.

Me: I hate everyone.

Jen. I know. (Laughing)

Me. What do mean you know? Do you ever feel that way?

Jen: No.

Me: Well, maybe I shouldn’t have copped to it.

Jen: You didn’t have to. I know.

Me: It shows?

Jen: Googie, you are one big ball of sleep deprivation and boredom.

 

I am rereading Chevron, and I hate everyone.

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11 thoughts on “As when, my flesh is torn violently from my body

  1. Except me. Because if I were sitting next to you and rereading Chevron, it would be so obvious that I hate everyone more than you do that you would be let off the hook. And really, what are friends for if not to hook themselves so you can take a bit of a getaway?

  2. I hate those flying monkey, sooo creepy! I always have to look up words when I read cases. It has expanded my list of Vocab Words Too Pretentious To Ever Use In Real Life.

  3. There is a reason why I call that class History of Bureaucracy.

    I hate Chevron, too.

    I remembered avulsion from EMT training. There were some charming pictures in our textbook.

  4. You know, you’re pretty funny. And I never thought about it in terms of “avulsion,” but I have to agree. School’s most definitely like that. Maybe I won’t go to law school now. 🙂

  5. Dude – I hate everybody. And it shows.

    PS – Tomorrow’s post on my blog answers YOUR Dear Tranny Head Question. Hawt, right?

    PS – I stopped reading for law school after my first year. I highly recommend it.

  6. This is Mo from twoladiesinwaiting. I was reading Chevron that very same day! And, as I’m starting to outline this weekend, I’m doing everything in my power to Never. Read. Benzene. Again.

    We actually started the semester with Benzene. Why, you ask? Prof says, “I figured we’d start with Benzene because it can’t get any worse than that.”

    Good luck with your exam!

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