Before I tell you this story, I want you to remember that I have always lived in a city. I rarely venture out of the city so if I am interacting with nature, it’s probably with my herb garden in my window box.
Anyway, Yo-yo girl and I decided to avoid the hoi pollio of Pride and hit the beach instead. We went to Crane’s beach, which is beautiful. The day started off perfectly. We have been going through a hard time with Lil’ guy lately. He has been throwing one temper tantrum after another. He is a virtuoso of fit throwing. But today, he was perfect. He ran up and down the shoreline screeching in joy and running circles around us.
It started getting late, and Lil’ guy was eating sand, so I suggested lunch. Everybody knows after you go to Crane’s beach, you go to Woodman’s for fried clams (they claim to have created fried clams but I think they are just bragging). Anyway, everybody did decide to go to Woodman’s because when we get there is a line out the door.
Yo-yo girl says she knows a place that the locals frequent where the clams are just as good but the scene is not as crazy. Great. Its called J.T. Farnhams. We get there and I see a lot of families with kids. Perfect.
So we go in and put in our order, and then sit at a window. Yo-yo girl points the nice view – of a Marsh. Amazingly, my son is still acting perfectly. Its like I don’t even know him.
But then, we wait. And wait. And wait. He’s not acting so perfectly anymore, so I decide to walk around with him outside.
The restaurant has a row of tables for outside seating above, and below – the Marsh. Lil’ guy heads straight for the Marsh. It does flicker through my head that none of the other mothers are letting their kids play in the Marsh, but I push it away. He’s happily throwing rocks in the water when I realize he is getting really muddy. It then registers that its not normal mud, it’s the blackest ooziest mud I have ever seen.
I yell “Get up here right now!” And he does what he normally does – the exact opposite. He runs and falls straight down in the mud. So I slide down the bank, and I mean slide, pick him up and try to climb up the side again. But I keep losing my footing, and end up sliding down again. Lil’ guy is screaming and I am swearing and we are covered from head to toe in mud. Above I hear one family laughing hysterically, and another woman tell her husband she was going for help – so I was getting a mixed reaction from the crowd. I finally managed to climb out of the bank and this guy asks me if I would like a napkin. “Whatever for?”
Then Lil’ guy starts crying, “Shoe…shoe.” His shoe had fallen off in the water, so I had to climb back down and grab the shoe. By the time I was back up again, we look like we had been to Woodstock.
We can’t go back in the restaurant, so I strip him naked and go to the window to try and signal to Yo-yo girl.
When she turned around, and I saw the shocked look on her face, I broke out laughing. Lil’ guy is still screaming, I’m so embarrassed but maybe one of these days I will acquire some common sense.
Yo-yo girl came running out, took a look at us, and said, “Why don’t we get it to go.” On the way home she says, “Well, this will be a funny memory some day.”
Or fodder for Lil’ guys therapy.