Baby Making

For some reason, I got to thinking about Straight People. I think because my last post was about TCC and Cee (who is pregnant) posted a comment. *winking at Cee*

I have never wanted to be straight. That is in spite of the fact, that straight people don’t make being gay easy. Seriously. You guys beat us up in grade school, and as adults you won’t let us get married. (I’m married in my state, but one toe into RI, and Jen and I are no longer married.)

Despite this, I have never wanted to be straight. I am a pretty uptight person, so I am not really sure how I got this free spirited attitude towards my sexuality. Maybe its because being gay really upset my mother, so it was pretty much worth it.

But in the lesbian blogosphere, and off line, I know a lot of lesbians TTC. I have to say, I am jealous of straight people. You guys get to have S*X with your husbands and boyfriends to make babies. How cool is that.

Is there anything more unromantic than lesbian baby making. I mean you try. You start out with the romantic evening, Melissa Ferrick CD and the syringe laid on the pillow. This never works.

Inevitably, you end up at the doctors, your feet in cold stirrups, drugged up on some funky thing, and the nurse poking that d*ldo thing into your ovaries.

So you got us on that one.

But to everybody TTC, straight and gay, I can say from experience, it’s worth it. Once the doctor or midwife places that little baby on your belly, all of the bad stuff just seems like a bad dream. And you just woke up.



21 thoughts on “Baby Making

  1. Sorry to say I’m straight, but when it comes to baby making we may have something in common. I was past my due date, dying to have the baby, and about ten different medical professionals told me I should have sex because it’s a well-known fact that sperm can start labor. I’m thinking it’s a great idea to hit up the singles bars and find a random man to have unprotected sex with when I’m nine and a half months pregnant.

    Also, have you noticed that they don’t make baby books (i.e., those scrap books that you measure your baby’s milestones in) without constant references to “daddy” and pages and pages dedicated to pictures of baby and daddy?

  2. New Duck – have I ever noticed that about the baby books. If I were a different kind of a person, I would probably head over to the paper source and make my own baby book. But instead we just took a marker and wrote Mama over all of the references to Daddy. It looks really classy!

  3. Oh – and I feel the need to clarify. I have nothing against straight people. That would be crazy. There are too many of you. I was just thinking about “straight people” as a whole. I want to keep typing, but I am afraid I am about to put my foot in my mouth and say something offensive to 90% of the population.

  4. Nah, I am the straight friend who can vouch for Googie’s tolerance toward the heteros.

    What she might say, however, about folks wearing white shoes after Labor Day, is too offensive to reveal here.

  5. Several Thoughts:

    1. I’m FOR gay marriage! Not “civil unions,” MARRIAGE!

    2. I’m straight.

    3. I don’t know if you read my post on the topic or not, but I have dated an obscenely high number of guys who I now know are gay. Something like 5 or 6 . . . and these were relationships! Not just “one daters!” I don’t know why that is, but anyway, I’m all about sharing my fun facts with you tonight. This really has no relevance to your post, but I just thought I’d share.

    4. While I was able to have sexy time with my hubby and make our baby, lots of heteros don’t get so lucky! Like my parents (who adopted me!)

    5. Damn those white shoes after labor day!

  6. Thank you so much for this post. Although the many differences are obvious, I never once took the time to really think about these differences from anything but my own “straight” perspective. Thank you for your honest feelings. We do make the world a tougher place for people who live lifestyles different from our own.

    Sorry if any of my previous comments reflected my ignorance- it’s good to be around people who can poke tiny holes in our veils of ignorance (dang, I cant say that without thinking about corporations…)

  7. Hi Cee and Law School Hot Mama – I’m feeling kind of bad. I didn’t mean to imply that you guys make life difficult for gays. I wouldn’t read your blogs if you were homophobes. And I totally appreciate the support for gay marriage.

    Also, I know sometimes heterosexuals end up at the REs. A good friend of mine had saved a lot of money for a down payment on a house. She then decided she wanted a baby. She was in her 40s and end up spending it all on artificial insemination. She didn’t get pregnant. It just sucked.

    At any rate, I’m glad this post was a conversation starter.

    And Virgin – I will wear pearls if you do.

  8. SO I am straight! Always have been. Even tho I experimented. BUt I am REALLY open minded and NEVER beat up anyone for anything. Take people for the people they are. Their spirit,

    I have to say tho that TTC in the straight world is NOT always romantic even without HELP from fertility specialists. i got preg at 45 tho and that was pretty romantic while it lasted. We had only been married 3 months too and were not TRYING! Just loving whole heartedly. But sadly we miscarried.

    TRYING (especially when desperate) changes everything. I don’t always feel like it! Ya know?

    With that said your BABY is beautiful! And I am REALLY green at the moment! 😀

    That’s what it is all about!

  9. When I was pregnant with our son, I overheard two women discussing pregnancy issues. Identifying with their comments, I looked over at them – and was shocked to see their husbands! I guess my brain had made an unconscious assumption at some point – ‘I’m a lesbian and I’m pregnant, hence all pregnant women are lesbians.’ LOL – it was a very surreal moment.

  10. Hey, you’re taking away the thrill of riding the dildocam with all this talk of non-traditional baby making.

    However, you are so right when it comes to that little baby on the belly. Nothing beats that, nothing.

  11. For Sale: Two (slightly) used single-strand pearl chokers. Price reasonable. Will throw in two oxford shirts and a pair of penny loafers. And a headband. Tortoiseshell. Of course. You will, however, have to pahhhk ya own damned caaahhh.

  12. Am I retarded?

    What dildo?

    Don’t y’all spend like every year after your sophomore year in college avoiding penis’ and dildos?

    or is it peni and dildi?

    And Sophomore year is the coming out year, isn’t it?

  13. Hi Karrie – that is very funny. I remember thinking when I found out my straight friend was pregnant “Oh, she did it the old fashioned way.” When really, its the way it usually goes.

    Hi Orodemniades – you have a very difficult name. Jen calls the dildocam the personal joy stick

    Hey Leslie – we’ll take them!

    Virgin – I’ll deal with you later

    Sue – I can’t speak for everybody. In fact, I have a hard time speaking for myself. But the dildo thing is what the medical profession uses for the internal ultrasound. They put cold goo on it before they insert it, and as far as I am concerned, it is not sexy at all. But everyone is different.

    What is the plural of penis? We are going to have to ask someone else. I just don’t know.

    I can’t wait to see what google delivers to me after this post.

  14. The plural of penis is penises or penes.

    I prefer penises. Penes looks too much like penne, and there are some things I just don’t want with my pasta.

  15. I once heard someone refer to the u/s tech as “wander woman.” And I’m sad to say you’ll need the pearls where you’re going (possibly a pair of pumps as well). Trust.

  16. inlocoparentis – Virgin and I are dispirited as it is. I think the pearls and pumps might just throw us over the edge.

    Virgin – how did I know you would know the answer!

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