I signed up for the mentor program at my school. I don’t why I signed up, but I did. I asked for someone who could tell me how they balance being a mother and a lawyer.
Yesterday, on my way to meet my mentor, I ran into a girl who I like a lot, but who is very hyper about grades. She rattled off how hard she thinks all of the finals are going to be, and then said good bye.
So I get to my mentors law office, and ask for her. Out of the elevators comes this really tall, really overweight pregnant woman with long blonde hair. We go get something to eat, and then the conversation gets ugly.
What do I want to do? What field am I interested in? You must make a decision. How are my grades? YOU HAVE TO GET THOSE GRADES UP. What are you doing for an internship? Well, you need to start begging the high end firms to let you come and work for free this summer. Have you been networking? YOU HAVE TO GET THOSE GRADES UP. A firm won’t look twice at you. You have to get on a journal. You need a better internship. You had your baby before law school? Hmmm, well YOU HAVE TO GET THOSE GRADES UP.
She then shook my hand and went back to work, happy as a clam. In the few moments this woman let me speak, I had explained to her that I wanted a government job. She totally disregarded this. Apparently, I have done everything wrong.
Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t bother me. But I am not well. This semester has sucked. I haven’t gotten a good night sleep since break. I have had a cold for four weeks now. I have gained fifteen pounds, I live off coffee and I hate everybody. (Well, not you gentle reader).
I was so upset last night that I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t study, mind you. I just couldn’t sleep.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not someone who says, “Oh I want to work in the public sector, my grades don’t matter.” They do matter to me. But I worked my ass off last semester, and I got straight B+. Period. It’s going to have to do.
I have talked to a couple of professors about strategies to do better my next round of finals. They were good suggestions and I am trying them out. But at the end of the day, a lot of it is out of your control. You study hard, do the best you can, and then you let go.
I didn’t study today. I am not going to tonight either. I am going to the Legal Follies. I probably won’t get hired at a BIG FIRM. Damn.