Mi Madre

So what to make of my mother’s life? She left an abusive situation, separated herself from her family, only to find herself in another violent home.

It makes me sad when I think about it, especially since I know it’s the story of so many women.

I think about my mother’s life differently now. Learning about her childhood has helped me to forgive her and see her in a different perspective.

For example, my mother strongly believed that women belonged in the home. She would talk about homemaking being a noble calling. But in my mind, I conflated being a housewife with being abused. For many years, I swore off having children.

I still strongly believe that women have the right to work outside the home if they choose. However, I can now extract my mother from the abuse. I have more respect for the choices she made.

She was right. It is important to create a home. Someone has to do the cooking and the cleaning. Someone has to look after the children. These are the activities that create a family. I was wrong to trivialize what was important to her.

Now that I am older, I consciously try to be more like her, the better part of her. I have taken up knitting, and I have a routine for keeping my home clean even though I work. And of course, I try to be the best parent possible to my son.

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One thought on “Mi Madre

  1. It takes so long to separate the wheat from the chaff of our dysfunctional childhoods. But isn’t it great that you can turn things around in your own adulthood?

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