Because I listen so well to advice

I was really glad to see Rhea stop by and leave a comment. She’s my old roommate, and it’s always good to hear from her. But her comment got me thinking. There are a couple of things that I have done in my life that have caused some serious reactions from other people.

The first one was quitting drinking. Your bar friends and alcoholic relatives don’t like it when you suddenly stop (except for Yoyo girl who was totally supportive).

The next thing was having a baby. For some reason, several people saw my pregnancy as an invitation to tell me all about why they chose not to have kids. I have some serious “nice girl” training that I struggle to overcome. In other words, I am always nice even when in my head I am thinking, “Why fuck are you telling me this? I don’t care why you don’t have children! I am obviously choosing differently.”

The latest one is deciding to go to law school. People have a lot of opinions about this. I guess there are a lot of feelings about lawyers. As a matter of fact, I am having dinner tomorrow with a good friend. She’s a SAHM. She is also a member of the bar. Every time I mention law school, she squeaks under her breath, “Don’t do it!”

I love all the support I’m getting.

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12 thoughts on “Because I listen so well to advice

  1. 1. Stopping drinking – good plan but definitely makes parenting a little tougher.

    2. Having a baby – don’t solicit anyone’s opinion, the little guy is here and you can’t unring the bell, he doesn’t deserve to hear it. My opinion is that if the words hurt a child keep them to yourself, send me a list of phone numbers, I’ll call them and let them know what manners are expected of them.

    3. Law school – sue the bastards, it’s libel I tell ya.

    Every family deserves a decent income and I don’t think partying with Haliburton is the best plan for you….

  2. I think all those items tend to bring up repressed guilt or biases in people. They sort of short-circuit their empathy nodes. I’m sort of the same way about people going into the arts on that last one. “Wouldn’t you rather be a plumber?”

  3. Hi Rhea,

    I feel kind of badly about how this all played out. I didn’t mean to single you out. Seriously, 9 out of 10 people that I have talked to about law school have said something negative or have implied I will be unhappy as a lawyer. That’s what I was getting at.

    Hi Housewife,
    The infuriating thing was that I wasn’t even asking for advice. I was sharing news of my pregnancy. The more I think about it, it was pretty darn rude.

    Hi Rosie,
    I am surprised you would say something about people going into the arts. You seem pretty arts positive to me.

    Hi Susan,
    You are right. Life is short. And have you noticed, it seems to be getting shorter all the time.

    Googie

  4. It was rude.

    It was cruel.

    It’s a baby, we don’t talk about people that way.

    I’m extremely grumpy today.

  5. my girlfriend and i are getting ready to be pregnant and i don’t want to be called mom or any of the other variations of mother and she is encouraging me to be called something other than daddy (which is what i would prefer i guess), but i haven’t heard of or seen any alternative names for “daddy” in reference to a gay mother.
    my argument very simply is that daddy merely refers to the other more masculine parent and the sperm provider, both of which i am. however she thinks we should go with something different so that it’s easier for our child. i’m more of a smack the bee’s nest kind of girl and think that it’s time to challenge things but my girl would rather someone else do it…the not us, not our family kind of mentality.
    the thing is that i haven’t seen anything that i would not mind being called by our kid.
    could you help me out?
    know of any names?

  6. I understand. I just don’t want you to spend all that money and time if you may not end up liking it. The reason I say this, is that you said you didn’t want to do law per se, but: 1. I think I have the brain for it 2. I am horribly bored with the industry I am in now 3. somebody around here needs to start making some serious money.
    So I just think there are perhaps less taxing ways to make more money and enjoy your work more.

  7. Hi Rhea,
    I appreciate your concern, but its something Jen and I have decided would be good for our family. Its really not up for discussion.

  8. I have discovered this, too. You know what I think? People who are happy don’t really talk about it, but people who are miserable love to share. 😉 I have spent 5 years working for attorneys and many of them are happy, believe it or not!

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