You were made for something bitter, bitter, better

One of the things that has always aggravated me about my chaotic family it that it is so hard to get to the factual truths of things. Misstatements of fact abound. One moment we are of pure of Irish stock, the next moment our great grandmother was a Dutch factory worker, and then later we have Native American blood in us. I take everything that is said with a grain of salt.

I have recently reconnected with a cousin who is going through a hard time. He filed a lawsuit recently and it was emotionally difficult for him. He was telling me that he had thought about asking my brother, J, to look over his claim for him.

Why? I asked. J doesn’t know anything about the law?

Isn’t he a lawyer? He responded. His mother had been going on and on about how J had turned his life around and was an attorney in Denver.

I lost my sh*t at this.

Background. I have some real issues with my brother. He has always been the golden boy of the family. He is very handsome and very popular. The phone rang incessantly at our house growing up. The rest of us stopped answering it.

The Women’s Movement did not reach our house. My brother was given a car at sixteen, and his college education was paid for. The rest of us schlepped around on the Phoenix Public Transit and took out student loans.

But this is the thing, J is very abusive to us. He charms the pants of others, but he is mean and cruel to us. He cannot talk to us with out sharpening a verbal knife and plunging it in. He is like Jekyll and Hyde. And despite my parents giving him preferential treatment, it took nearly 7 years to graduate college. He has spent most of his adult life as a bartender.

Do I sound bitter? Yes love. I am.

So when I heard my aunt had been raving about J’s law career. I lost it.

He is not a lawyer. He is schmaltzy sales guy. He is lucky he graduated college. He has NOT cleaned his act up.

All right. All right. My cousin laughed. My mom had some bad info.

I think what happened was news of me going to law school percolated into news of J being a hot shot lawyer. Its just so infuriating that even my accomplishments get attributed to him.

For the 100th time this semester

The baby and I are sick. But this time, instead of bravely soldering on, I’m saying scr*w it. I have a Motion for Summary Judgment due at the end of the week.

We’re watching Curious George.

When I am not contemplating easements…

Every now and then, I sign out of g-chat. This is usually a lame attempt to pay attention in Property class. The result of this is that me and the Girl Who Sits Next to Me, Virgin, just start writing old-fashioned handwritten notes.

I pulled out my contracts syllabus. On there was a brief exchange between me and the Virgin:

Me: The thing is, so many places say,

I want a lesbian or

I want a woman

Its not really enforced

Virgin: Yes, like so many other things. Why are we spinning our wheels?

Congress is STUPID

What in God’s good green earth were we talking about?

What my legal education gets me….

Jen was putting together the baby’s Easter basket for Sunday.

Me: Hey, there are no chocolate bunnies. How can you have an Easter basket with out chocolate bunnies?

Jen: Everyone is on my case about the chocolate bunnies. I don’t like chocolate bunnies.

Me: Really? Why not.

Jen: First of all the chocolate is crappy.

Me: I could go to Godiva.

Jen: He doesn’t need fancy chocolate!

Me (the wheels of legal analysis turning in my brain): Wait. How can one moment you say the chocolate is too crappy to eat, and the next moment say that he doesn’t need good chocolate….

Jen: Oh, all right. Go get the chocolate bunnies.

Six months of law school, and I can effectively argue for chocolate bunnies.

I just got back from Moot Court, and the verdict is….

I loved it! Really.

A friend of mine wished me luck at arguments tonight. Yesterday, my water heater broke and my basement flooded. I lost a glove from my favorite pair, I ripped my favorite scarf looking for my favorite glove (don’t ask) and I was pissed because my Legal Writing instructor gave me yet another lousy grade. I told my friend that Moot Court was the last thing on my mind.

So we all get to the classroom/courtroom, and the judges are there in their little robes, and we are there in our black pumps (and yes, someone was wearing pearls). Opposing council does her spiel, and the judges are asking really tough questions about the case law. I was so annoyed about this whole thing, I didn’t even review the cases. I’m thinking, “Shit, maybe I should have prepared better.”

So then I get up there, and not three sentences in, the judges start hammering in with the questions. They were really hard questions. But I just said a little prayer, and thought about how Tyra Banks would handle the situation. By the time I sat down, I was actually having fun.

I got some really nice feedback too. Two of the judges actually said that I should consider litigation.

I don’t know if I could handle all of the work that comes with the competitions next year, but I had a good time.

Good luck to anyone who hasn’t gone yet!

One night before my very first oral arguments and

the water heater breaks. The basement is flooded, and I can’t get a plumber over. Oy!

Baby Making

For some reason, I got to thinking about Straight People. I think because my last post was about TCC and Cee (who is pregnant) posted a comment. *winking at Cee*

I have never wanted to be straight. That is in spite of the fact, that straight people don’t make being gay easy. Seriously. You guys beat us up in grade school, and as adults you won’t let us get married. (I’m married in my state, but one toe into RI, and Jen and I are no longer married.)

Despite this, I have never wanted to be straight. I am a pretty uptight person, so I am not really sure how I got this free spirited attitude towards my sexuality. Maybe its because being gay really upset my mother, so it was pretty much worth it.

But in the lesbian blogosphere, and off line, I know a lot of lesbians TTC. I have to say, I am jealous of straight people. You guys get to have S*X with your husbands and boyfriends to make babies. How cool is that.

Is there anything more unromantic than lesbian baby making. I mean you try. You start out with the romantic evening, Melissa Ferrick CD and the syringe laid on the pillow. This never works.

Inevitably, you end up at the doctors, your feet in cold stirrups, drugged up on some funky thing, and the nurse poking that d*ldo thing into your ovaries.

So you got us on that one.

But to everybody TTC, straight and gay, I can say from experience, it’s worth it. Once the doctor or midwife places that little baby on your belly, all of the bad stuff just seems like a bad dream. And you just woke up.

 

Spring Break

I have been on Spring Break, but it hasn’t been much of a break because I haven’t been doing anything but studying. Really, I should have accomplished a lot, but I haven’t. It has been taking me so long to do everything. This is what I have accomplished:

• Civil Procedure Problem Set (This took a whole day!)
• Civil Procedure Outline
• Contracts Practice Test
• Reorganized Moot Court Presentation
• Started working on Contracts Outline (I should get this done by Monday)
• Got the Skunk smell out of the dog (email me if you want to know how)

Despite my lack of productivity, I decided to take the day off, and I am so glad that I did. Jen got me a massage for my birthday to combat the stress, and it was terrific. Come to find out, the massage therapist was an attorney. I am tempted to think that means something, but I am not sure what.  I then got my hair done and paid a visit to Ms. Spade and Ms. Pulitzer on Newbury Street. I made a homemade pizza for dinner, and even the baby ate it. I am feeling much more relaxed than I have been in a long time.

Baby #2 Update. I also wanted to give everyone a TTC update. I wasn’t sure how much Jen wanted me to disclose, but we talked and she’s ok with me giving details. At our last try, she had two follicles. One of the follicles wasn’t released with the trigger shot. She had an ultrasound, and they found the old follicle. Apparently, this is bad, and the doctors wouldn’t let us try this month. We were both really disappointed. But if she had gotten pregnant, she would have given birth right about the time of finals, so its probably best. Hopefully, we will get the go ahead next month. I will let you know.

Random Wednesday

These are the things that happened to me today:

My wife and son barged in on my legal writing class! It was so disorienting for my worlds to be colliding as such, I literally thought, “Why is this woman and her baby in my class? Why is that baby calling me Mommy? My god, that’s my baby!” Jen was locked out of the house, and had come to the law school looking for me. Found me!

Later, when I was walking my little dog down the street, a guy in a van pulls up and asks, “Hey, is that a medium size dog?” I look down at my small dog, and say, “No, she’s a small dog.” He goes on, “She’s a medium size dog. I have a wardrobe for medium size dogs. I can sell you a fur collar.” To which I replied, “She does NOT wear fur!”

Two missionaries came to the door,  I think that they were a grandfather and grandson. When I opened the door, they hand me a pamphlet. The grandfather says, “This is literature about achieving Eternal Life.” Not trying to be a smart ass, but being very tired, I replied, “Oh, I am not really interested in eternal life.”

 One last thing. I sometimes talked about the Girl Who Sits Next to Me. Well, the girl who sits next to me has started a blog. She is a poet and a wit. I think it is going to be great. Go check it out:

Virgin in the Volcano 

Unwellness

I signed up for the mentor program at my school. I don’t why I signed up, but I did. I asked for someone who could tell me how they balance being a mother and a lawyer.

Yesterday, on my way to meet my mentor, I ran into a girl who I like a lot, but who is very hyper about grades. She rattled off how hard she thinks all of the finals are going to be, and then said good bye.

So I get to my mentors law office, and ask for her. Out of the elevators comes this really tall, really overweight pregnant woman with long blonde hair. We go get something to eat, and then the conversation gets ugly.

What do I want to do? What field am I interested in? You must make a decision. How are my grades? YOU HAVE TO GET THOSE GRADES UP. What are you doing for an internship? Well, you need to start begging the high end firms to let you come and work for free this summer. Have you been networking? YOU HAVE TO GET THOSE GRADES UP. A firm won’t look twice at you. You have to get on a journal. You need a better internship. You had your baby before law school? Hmmm, well YOU HAVE TO GET THOSE GRADES UP.

She then shook my hand and went back to work, happy as a clam. In the few moments this woman let me speak, I had explained to her that I wanted a government job. She totally disregarded this. Apparently, I have done everything wrong.

Under normal circumstances, this wouldn’t bother me. But I am not well. This semester has sucked. I haven’t gotten a good night sleep since break. I have had a cold for four weeks now. I have gained fifteen pounds, I live off coffee and I hate everybody. (Well, not you gentle reader).

I was so upset last night that I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t study, mind you. I just couldn’t sleep.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not someone who says, “Oh I want to work in the public sector, my grades don’t matter.” They do matter to me. But I worked my ass off last semester, and I got straight B+. Period. It’s going to have to do.

I have talked to a couple of professors about strategies to do better my next round of finals. They were good suggestions and I am trying them out. But at the end of the day, a lot of it is out of your control. You study hard, do the best you can, and then you let go.

I didn’t study today. I am not going to tonight either. I am going to the Legal Follies. I probably won’t get hired at a BIG FIRM. Damn.