Letting go in the New Year

I’ve been toying with the idea of giving up job hunting for 2012. Between my contract job and my pro bono work, I’ve been pretty busy lawyering. Maybe something will come of it – but maybe something won’t. Mostly, I’m tired of having emotional break downs over my career. I’ve worn myself out.

I’ve heard the Churchill quote, “Never Never Never – in nothing, great or small, large or petty – never give in.” He said this in a speech on October 29, 1941 in a visit to the Harrow School. It was after the Blitz. But you know, I’m not fighting Nazis. I just want some measly, poorly paid public interest job. Maybe Churchill needed to learn how to let things go.

The thing that really gets me though is that my contract gets renewed yearly. I don’t have a great tolerance for risk. I am always scared come January that they aren’t going to renew my contract in June. Plus, there are so many things that we have put on hold. We don’t want to move or take vacations until I have a job because things are so tight financially. But this just may be the new normal.

I really have started a murder mystery novel. I am pretty excited about it. I would like to put more energy into it. Becoming a writer is beginning to look like the more sensible plan.